I’m very nice and everyone should like me a lot

Posted on March 10th, 2019

Dear Office Dog,

It is with great interest that I am submitting my application to be your friend. I have several decades of experience and glowing references from Baron, Pooh-bah, Red, Puppy, Candy, Snuffy, Hamlet, Henry and Biscuit. Admittedly, all but the last one died under my care. Old age, mind you. Still, I can see how that track record would be disconcerting.

5 Reasons I’m The Ideal Candidate:

  • I invariably come back from lunch smelling like meat
  • I will never threaten your alpha status as I am already subordinate to a prepubescent girl
  • As an asthmatic with allergies, I share your aversion to cats
  • I have a pleasing voice and will frequently ask you who is a good girl only to immediately confirm that, in fact, you are. Yes, you are. Yes, you are!
  • I never once considered titling this week’s comic “That Bitch From Work”

Thank you very much for your consideration. I look forward to you not barking furiously at me while snuggling up to every other human at the agency.


-Graham Thomas Mutch  


And I NEVER rub it in your face.

Almost never.

- Jamie


You literally do it every time the dog barks at me, every time we leave or approach the creative department and several times during the creation of this comic.

- Graham

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